hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
