Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
