Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
