Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
