I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
