I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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