I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
