standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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