apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
