Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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