I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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