now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
