He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
