they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
