She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
