first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
love makes seman taste better
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
