Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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