whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
