can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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