Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
