what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
