Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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