Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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