Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
