so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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