I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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