so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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