I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
