remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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