so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You ruined the universe
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
