i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
