Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
