well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
