did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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