Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
