those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
