if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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