just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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