There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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