do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
