Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
