I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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