I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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