dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
