found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What a dumb baby whore.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
