I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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