You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
this is an emotional support booty call
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