his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
