for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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