College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
