6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Send help, water and tortillas.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
