O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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