Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
